Saturday, August 7, 2010

Armadillo reveals secretly proposed dual honor 2025 nickel

That's right. You did not read the title heading incorrectly. Through the investigative acumen of Wikisneaksnpeeks we have wind of a newly proposed 2025 dual honor nickel. The dual honor is very unique in the history of the Respublik. In the old times we had stamps honoring two persons, such as the Wright Brothers--remember them? I think they were the first to put themselves on a cough drop box, or something like that. No matter.

Apparently, the Central Control has characteristically, spared no expense. This newly proposed dual honor coin is handsomely appointed and some of Cabrini Green's best graffiti artists were given day jobs to realized the images that were used to make the irons.

Made of genuine recycled, Elmer's glue laminated warehouse crate wood and branded instead of stamped, the dual honor coin will be the first in history in North America---except perhaps unless you want to consider the Canadian Loonie.

While that coin did honor an actual Canadian Loon and Queen Elizabeth, who was selected to represent the Royal Loons across the Pond, their images were minted on opposing sides. (Very fitting, since the Queen has been opposing numerous loons in the Royal Family since the day of her Coronation back in 793 A.D.)

So, the dual honor "Loonie" of Canada notwithstanding, the two legislators honored for their valuable contributions in betraying the American people and hastening the transmogrification of the American Republic of Republic into the Consolidated People's Republic of Obamalan (to wit: Congressperson Madam Speakerette Peloski and Senator Reidovich); these legislators have their images burned into "heads" side only, with the traditional Hammer and Cycle on the "tails" side.

Of course, the Rainbow House has categorically denied these allegations. Never the less, Wikisneaksnpeaks assures us of the accuracy of this information and says the source is an actual Rainbow House insider of the highest rank––very close to Premier Obama himself. (Robert Gibbs was not immediately available to attempt to stutter haltingly through a response.)

Despite the Rainbow House denial, which came out this morning before the news actually broke, the story has gained such traction that Premier Obama and Vice Parasite Bytemee interrupted their preparations in New York Harbor for the dedication of the new "Statue of Equality of Outcome no matter how damned dumb, lazy or stupid you are" to deny that the story had any validity.

Premier Obama's statement was delayed for a few moments because the teleprompter operator fell asleep mid-sentence while typing the denial. Vice Parasite Bytemee spoke extemporaneously and was, as usual, incoherent. As we understand it, after the statements, the Vice Parasite overheard a news caster saying the VP had spoken extemporaneously. VP Joe seemed impressed, said he didn't know he could do that but made a note to look "extemporaneously" up as soon as he found someone who could use a dictionary or operate a computer.

Wikisneaksnpeeks also said they have about a dozen more future coins to release, which they plan to do after some more investigation about their authenticity.

Double click on the image above to get a good view of the new coin, front and back, allegedly proposed and specially designed by Van Jones. Is it real, or is it Memorex? As always, the Armadillo reports---you must decide––or not.

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