Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Armadillo is embracing Liberalism--you should too!

Prior to Arizona's new Immigration law I was pretty much on the side of the Conservatives. But now I'm seriously thinking of joining the protesters. The reason is, without knowing it, I have obviously been persecuted by the state of Texas and taken for a sucker by the Federal government. The protests in Arizona have made me painfully aware of how I've been discriminated against and unfairly treated. I don't see why I should not receive the same treatment illegals have been given. Let me share an example to explain what I mean.

In the past, if the police stopped me here in Texas, even for a tail light being out or a crack in my windshield, they expected ME to produce a valid driver's license and an up to date proof of insurance and proper documents pertaining to the car I'm driving.

What an outrage! But that's not all.

Even if my documents were in order and I was uncharacteristically cooperative and respectful, the officer always took my license and documentation, went back to his car, opened up the computer there, fed in my information and checked my entire background, seeing if I had any prior convictions, if I was wanted in Texas or any other state, if I owed money for unpaid traffic tickets, if I was in arrears on child support payments, or if I had warrants in other places---or anything else in my background that might give him an excuse to ticket me, perform a search on my person, or arrest me and confiscate my car––which I would have to pay a large amount of money to get back even if I was proven innocent or a victim of mistaken identity. And I would have virtually no legal recourse to recoup damages and expenses. After all, the officer is just doing his duty to keep the peace and make sure ALL the laws are enforced. My cost and inconvenience would just be the cost of maintaining a just, safe and free society.

To Hell with that. Now I know better. I see now, thanks to illegals bravely protesting, that the Government has been treating me and other citizens like we're drooling idiots that just fell off the turnip truck. NO MORE! This boy knows better now and he will no longer stay silent.

In the past I put up with it all because I believed it was the standard procedure everyone had to experience so the "public good" could be maintained. But apparently, what I and other citizens have been putting up with is not standard procedure. Nor is it for anyone's good except, perhaps, the government's. But there's good news dear citizens, all is not lost. There is a privileged class that doesn't have to bear up under these indignities and I want to be a part of them.

You should too!

Therefore, I'm throwing all my support behind the illegals protesting. But I'm not stopping there. I'm also thinking about revoking my citizenship so I can join them and have more liberty to carry on my business without the abuses of legal encroachments, demands for my identity, a full investigation into my past every time my left rear turn signal fails, or, get this, even paying income taxes.

What's more, I'm thinking about moving to California to join the beautiful people! I hear as an illegal there I can get free medical treatment, my children can go to college for free and I don't have to produce any documents regarding my finances or personal life in order to purchase a home.

How cool is that!

I only wish I'd thought of this earlier. I'm just writing this to you, my fellow citizen/victims, as a public service, in the hope you might follow the same path, take advantage of the liberties and services afforded illegals and join me grooving out on Huntington Beach. Let me know if you're coming and I'll see if I can pre-apply you for a marijuana medical card. Don't worry about paying for the "medication." You can get your "prescription" filled with money from government medical entitlement programs.

What fools we American Citizens have been working and saving when we could have all the stuff we need for free. All we need to do is just revoke our citizenship! It's just that easy.

What could we have been thinking?!?

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